As social as we human beings consider nay, most of us pride ourselves to be , it has been my observation, that we are, nevertheless quite solitary-almost to the point of being lonesome- and in many cases fiercely possessive and individualistic to the point of being accused as being defensive when it comes to what many consider as the founding stone of many of our inter-gender relationships(Gays and lesbians will have to forgive me here as my limited mind has not performed the following analysis from your perspective for plainly the reason that i cannot imagine myself in your shoes)-the crush.
When it comes to crushes of course the heart seems torn , the mind hapless and our general physical, emotional and mental condition (the distinction here being made between the intellectual facilities we posses and our emotional faculties) seems to take a between, ricocheting between the heights of ecstasy and the abyss of decrepit solitude when our mental faculties entertain the presence of said crusher. If we hold the position of the said crusher, of course there arise two possibilities. One in which we are blissfully unaware of our crushing effect in which case there is really not too much of an analysis required, and the other in which the crush is reciprocated which immediately lends itself as a trivial case to the discussion at hand presently.
In this monograph-I call it that simply out a fancy that i have inherited from the word from reading too much of Sherlock Holmes and puritans must bring themselves to forgive me for my presumptuousness- I shall attempt to dissect the nature of the crush to further help objective minds like mine to grapple with it especially in the face of-god forbid- the danger of their existing relations failing due to the whimsical nature attributed since old to the human mind. If nothing else this will be an amusing exercise for you to investigate yourself so closely and scarily.
The first task that a person has at hand is to identify that he/she is under the influence. this is easily done by most if not all of us. however it has often been the bane of our psyche to confuse this sensation with the wider perception of "love" in the sexual sense of the word.(Not to be confused with lust which only forms a small albeit integral part of the relationship). The distinction must be made by every individual for themselves for it is only we ourselves who know our true nature and deep down identify our emotional, physical and mental "weak spots". These are the very points at which we can be suckered and which usually are the sources of the said crush. If one were to analyse oneself from past experience one would observe that all our crushes-and even some of our "almost" crushes- have a common thread- a singular characteristic feature which functions as our weak spot. It is suggested that the objective mind take some time off during a "non-crushed " state to correctly identify these fault lines in its system. (Point to note: I do not subscribe to the Freudian views and do not believe that all human inter -gender relations must have its roots in an innate Oedipus complex. Psychology majors are advised to exit now.)
Once these are identified, it is quite trivial for us to identify if a given sensation is one that has been brought about by an already acknowledged "crush factor". It is of course possible that our ingenious mind comes up with a set of new seemingly unconnected parameter by which we may be suckered, but any previous soul searching exercise would have rendered us intellectually better off to deal with a repeat of the experiment in field of life with new foundations on which the crush is based. Once thus acknowledged, the first and in many ways vital portion of the work is done. This phase is the sharpening of the axe and the selection of the tree if you will.
Then one must simply ask oneself what it is that one wants-ultimately out of this relationship. is it that the crushed likes the company of the crusher at face value even when theoretically the crush factor has been removed? if so, the transience of the crush must be realised quickly if a longer , highly fruitful friendship is to be realised. Any delays in this regard endangers the loss of what could otherwise have been a high yielding and satisfying relationship for both parties. If thus were not the case, then the trivial solution applies wherein interest will lose itself in the face of the natural flow and order of beings.
This brings us to the vital question. Having known the nature of the crush and realising the potential of a friendship forged how does one forge this beautiful friendship? If it were only our wish to expose the ephemeral nature of the crush the solution is simple and mean- keep identifying the negative qualities in the crusher till they outweigh the positives. however, apart from being unfair to the crusher as a person this method has the greater price that as time goes on, we will find ourselves to have become cynical and unappreciating-to the layman:an all round grumpy person. Hence this method must be avoided at all costs. The most peaceable solution o course would be to accept the existence of the crush to oneself with all the above implications. This will solve the problem of our intellectual and mental clog from which the remaining course of action shall naturally lend itself to us. This way ensures that we remove at once and nip at the bud the feeling of the taboo on which indeed the crush feeds and fends for itself. Once this is done the impermanence and the hilarity of our childish feelings will become apparent to us. This will enable us to smile and laugh in the future- not the smile or laugh which we have seen others give:ones betraying the underlying sense of loss and nostalgia-almost a poignant not ringing to it-but rather one of liberation from our own self imposed mental cages opening new vistas of beauty in other people as well as ourselves.
(The much simpler solution would be to send this link to the object of your crush. It makes you look creepy............-sometimes.)
P.S: The concept of homosexual crushes must be further delved into- at least for scientific purposes. For it seems that in the centuries to come it will gain prominence in in a few millenia may indeed be the only ones to consider. The steady decrease of genes on the human Y chromosome to me points in the direction of a unisexual species- but then the entire concept of sexuality may have undergone a change . It may be defined on the mental faculty rather than plain physical ones.
